I started my fitness and health bursts in 2001. These bursts of exercise, healthy decisions, and trying miracle foods were easy and all yielded nice results when I was single and in my 20’s. After years of this, my family and friends all joked about my new addiction to “weird eating” which truly was just eating healthy.

     Then, I got married and had two 9+lb. kids by our 2nd anniversary and our 3rd baby by our 5th anniversary, and was working 12-hour day/night shifts. I said many things in those exhausted days: I need caffeine and sugar to stay awake, no one can be a gym rat and work nights, I can’t cook food for me separate from the kids, the lies went on and on. With all the pressures, I left me behind.
     In December, my confidence was way low, chubby Sarah was going to have to by bigger clothes soon and I couldn’t understand what the fuck was wrong with me! Why aren’t healthy fats in abundance the key to skinny Sarah? Why isn’t yoga working???? Why am I not having sex naked anymore? Why won’t I get on top? I needed an earthquake or an eruption in my life. I do pray and made this my focus.
      One day, Facebook had Jess pop up on my suggested friends and we use to hang out in similar circles years ago, so I reached out to say hi. Next thing I see is her in heels and a bikini at competition and I was hooked! How could she do this? Maybe I am full of shit and this is like that time I bought the 21 day fix😢.
     We spoke-she used the words 8 week shred and I made me a promise to make a habit. I follow this program diligently, but I have such lies that I believe that I fight through daily. I started to keep track of my lies daily on my phone and here are some:
I am too tired to work out before or after a 12 hour shift-especially nights.
I am not ever going to get results.
I don’t belong here (The gym), but everyone else does.
I’m not attractive.
These exercises will never become intuitive.
Everyone here knows that I pee a little in jumping moves.
Soon I will stop this charade and go backward to unhappy, unmotivated, 2nd rate Sarah.
Who do I think I Am? I’m not going to keep this up for long.
     These lies are just an iota of the shit I say inside. However, that is not keeping me from becoming a passionate, motivated woman who walks into that same area of the gym with all the grunting gym-rats nowadays.
     My physical results are that I have less rolls around my bra, pants, shirts. The size isn’t yet different, but I had been pushing it in those clothes anyway! I feel confident when I walk these days. I finally lost weight as well! This is not my focus though-measurements made me happier than weight tracking.
    Please put yourself first one day at a time if you are just contemplating this for yourself. Just do it today, then choose it again tomorrow. One day at a time really is how I live this new piece of my life. I feel important again in my own life and I am treating this like an infant that needs me to protect and nourish it.
💗thanks to Jessika who lifted me to a higher standard for myself.